Lessons in Humility: Vulnerability Makes for Stronger Leaders

By Mary Lynn Fayoumi, CAE, SPHR, SHRM-SCP, President & CEO
Published July 23, 2024

My daughter was recently promoted into a management role for the first time, and within days of assuming her new duties she called to vent about the problems she was facing.

From scheduling to communications to performance, she quickly was exposed to myriad new challenges. While her track record as a competent individual contributor led to her new position, she was humbled by how much she still needed to learn to be effective as a leader.

As I listened to her long list of concerns, I smiled to myself reflecting on my early days in management three decades ago. While the world has changed significantly in the intervening years, and we are in entirely different professions, the struggles she’s facing as a “green” manager are not new or unique.
Despite years of formal education and on-the-job training, there is still much to be learned through trial and error, and experience.

There’s no effective substitute for taking the time to get to know your team and adapt to your new responsibilities. With time, determination, and practice, many of the problems that seem difficult or even unsolvable now will become less daunting. As that happens, her self-confidence gradually will return, and her own style of leadership will emerge.

In many ways, becoming a manager in today’s workplace has distinct advantages. For example, people increasingly are encouraged to bring their authentic selves to work.

This means that as a new manager, showing some vulnerability is more acceptable than it was in the past. It’s comforting to be able to admit that you don’t know everything, need some time to learn, are open to feedback, and will undoubtedly make mistakes along the way. The old “fake it till you make it” adage no longer holds true in supportive cultures where even the most respected bosses occasionally turn in a lackluster performance.

A variety of scientific studies support the notion that vulnerability makes for stronger leaders. The Journal of Positive Psychology found that humble people were more than twice as likely to give more of their time to those in need than those who were not. When managers are relatable and empathetic, employees are better able to develop and grow because they feel encouraged and supported.

A study in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology determined that humility was linked with a greater ability to maintain self-esteem in the face of adversity or failure, helping people stay positive and upbeat in the middle of a crisis. This bodes well for managers and leaders to whom others look for direction and strength when unexpected troubles arise. Although the ability to remain calm under pressure is still an asset, appearing to be overconfident can be detrimental and cause employee trust to erode.

As 98-year-old entertainer and comedian Dick Van Dyke once said, “Just knowing you don’t have the answers is a recipe for humility, openness, acceptance, forgiveness, and an eagerness to learn — and those are all good things.”

I’m excited to have a front-row seat as my daughter’s career evolves. Although it will take many skills to make her successful, humility will be essential on her leadership journey.

This article, authored by Mary Lynn, is a reprint of an article published in the Daily Herald on July 17, 2024.

What was your biggest challenge when you were a brand-new manager? Take a walk down memory lane and share with your peers on HR Exchange.