“But That’s Not What I Meant!”

By Candace Fisher, SPHR, Director, Organizational Development/Certified Coach
Published September 17, 2024

Have you ever been disappointed with the outcome of a project or an action item that someone agreed to complete? “But you said …” is their explanation. “But that’s not what I meant!” is what you’re thinking very loudly. You thought you were so clear and that everyone was on the same page. What happened? Communication lapses happen all the time. But why?

The biggest barrier to effective communication is the lack of active listening. Active listening allows us to understand. Unfortunately, we are often only listening to respond, which means that we’re busy formulating our response while the other person is still talking. This can lead to miscommunication and misunderstanding. Instead, we need to put our own thoughts and emotions aside and focus on what the speaker is saying. Use active listening skills to paraphrase and clarify what we’re hearing to ensure better understanding.

People from different backgrounds with different experiences have different communication styles and preferences. It’s necessary to adapt our own communication style to account for the varied styles of others. By doing so, we can be more inclusive in our messages and appeal to the communication needs of others. This can help to avoid misinterpretation so that their understanding of our message is truly what we intended it to mean.

If we lack the proper tools or training, we may struggle to communicate effectively. If our organizations prioritize clear, transparent communication, we can realize the full potential of employees and teams. 

To better understand and adapt your communication style and enhance your communication skills, join us on September 25th for Communication Skills for the Workplace. For more information, visit the Training Calendar or call us at 800-448-448-4584.